Vancouver British Columbia

Chop wood, carry water . . .

Greetings from Vivacious Vancouver!

When I began this adventure some 4 months ago, I would have guessed that I might be in California, Nevada, or Arizona at this time. Even as much as 3 weeks ago, I suggested to a friend in Regina that I thought I would head to Sedona, Arizona for the winter solstice. It’s as much of a surprise to me to find myself in Vancouver AGAIN! In case you haven’t been keeping track, this is my fourth visit to this incredible city since mid-October. Since I arrived here a couple of weeks ago, I have felt the frustrations of “waiting on God” as I have been trying to figure out–what now. Most of the landmarks I used to use to navigate this adventure called life are now gone, and while I feel a tremendous spaciousness in my life, such freedom is not all it’s cracked up to be. I can relate to the grumbling of the Hebrew people as they wandered in the wilderness after their liberation from slavery in Egypt. I am reminded of a line from a song by the Dixie Chicks, “longing for the freedom of my chains.” I just hope I’m not destined to wander in this particular wilderness for forty years!

I knew when I began this J/journey that I was not embarking on an extended holiday. Instead, I find myself facing the tremendous challenges that come with the territory known as “wilderness.” One such challenge is the nearly constant sense of disorientation that accompanies the unfamiliar in life. Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I feel like I have been swept up by a cyclone and set down in a strange land. On the physical level, I don’t know my way around this huge city with the result that I get lost often. But then, as some would say, “Wherever you are, there you are.” On the spiritual level, the disorientation is much more uncomfortable, and I find myself crying out in anguish to God about as often as I consult my Vancouver map. Wandering with little or no sense of direction represents a radical shift for one who has expended so much energy accomplishing goals and objectives. Letting life unfold challenges the part of me that wants to exert control over the outcomes. I continue to pray simply for guidance, and that I might be granted the grace to embrace the challenges of this time. On the emotional level, the disorientation is not so acute although the pain of what I am feeling is almost unbearable at times. I have much more experience navigating the rough waters of turbulent emotions, however, and I can easily recognize my emotional companions–sadness, anger, fear, doubt, loneliness–as partners in the process of grief. What makes this particular experience of grief more difficult for me is the fact that I am quite isolated from my usual network of supportive friends and family. But alas, like Dorothy, all is not lost. New companions emerge along the way, and the journey is supported by helpers from the higher realms.

At the beginning of Dorothy’s journey, Glinda, the good witch of the north, gives her a set of ruby slippers to protect her and to help her find her way home. At the beginning of my journey, I was given a copy of Carolyn Myss’ book, Sacred Contracts, which is providing important support and guidance as I try to find my way through this confusing time. Throughout the book, Myss stresses the importance of learning to read life symbolically. To read life in this way means paying attention to the “subtle clues and cues that come through dreams, intuitions, apparent coincidences, and “chance” encounters” (39). According to Myss, paying attention to life at this level makes it possible to “trust that everything that is meant to come your way will arrive in due time, that you will be with the right people at the right moment, and that divine guidance endlessly flows into your soul” (10).

For the past few weeks, I have been testing her theory, and I have been utterly amazed at the number of teachers and guides who are surrounding me. For instance, last week I was wondering whether I should stay in Vancouver, apply for a ministry position in northern BC, or travel south to Arizona. While reading one morning, these words jumped off the page, “Stay put.” As it turns out, the ministry position I was considering would have put me on the fast track to clergy burn-out. Arizona, or any travel to the USA, is out of the question until I resolve the financial challenges brought about by the decision to divorce. For the time being, I need to keep my expenses to an absolute minimum, and I will need to supplement my income.

While staying put makes some sense to me, it does not begin to answer the other more nagging question–What now? Not surprisingly, the answer became more clear when reading Myss’ book. Again, the words jumped off the page, indicating they had enormous energy for me–”Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water” (83). For me, this ancient wisdom points to the truth that the divine permeates every aspect of our living, dancing with us in the glory on the mountaintops, and in the muck and mire of daily living in the valleys. Translating this wisdom into the most practical level of my life, I needed to find a job. As I pondered the possibilities, including my gifts and limitations, several ideas came to mind–supply preaching, guest speaking, house sitting, and freelance writing. Looking through the newspaper classified ads, another possibility presented itself–delivering the Telus yellow pages throughout Vancouver! To date, Buckskin and I have delivered over 700 sets of yellow pages weighing over 3500 pounds. My mantra while I work is simply, “Chop wood, carry water.” I quite enjoy the work as I can do as much or as little as I like, whenever I like. The weather has been conducive to being outdoors and the exercise is great therapy. As added benefits, I’m learning the streets of Vancouver, I’m getting in better shape for hiking, and I’m meeting wonderful people.

On Sunday evening, I felt strongly drawn to attend the Taize worship service at University Hill Chapel. This service is preceded by a soup supper and I decided to attend that, too, hoping to meet more people and make more connections. At supper, I met a woman who gave me three great leads. First, she told me about a local Vancouver spiritual paper that is looking for freelance writers. Second, she mentioned that when her mother visits Vancouver, instead of staying with her, she prefers to find a house sitting opportunity by advertising in the local paper. Third, she offered to circulate my information to other members of the congregation by means of the Internet list server. Between supper and the worship service, I had the opportunity to speak briefly to Ed, the minister, and felt the incredible support, nurture, and caring that comes from a colleague who understands intimately the depth of pain we are often called to experience in life. Following the service, Ed came up to me and shared that an insight had come to him during the prayers. He remembered a family in the congregation who might be interested in having someone house sit while their new house undergoes renovations. He arranged the initial contact, and lo and behold, I have my first house sitting job! By the way, God, I see the divine irony–both the house and I are undergoing renovations.

And so, for now, I will stay put while my Journey continues. To date, Buckskin and I have traveled over 18,500 miles (not kilometers). That’s a lot of rubber on the road. It’s time for a wee rest. Once my financial situation stabilizes, I hope to continue the journey, but for now, I will be content to chop wood and carry water. Over the next few months, I know Buckskin and I will visit the Stein Valley, Lillooet, the Marble Canyon, and Porteau Cove on a regular basis in order marvel at the sacredness and beauty of these special places.

A place to rest and “stay put” in Vancouver.